How do people live their whole lives incredibly sick?
I feel like I've survived a war zone with certain unsettling emotions melted into the very depth of myself. Ok I'm probably going to come back and read this in a few months and think that I was being entirely too dramatic.
But nonetheless my demeanor feels off. It was brought to my attention that I first started having obvious health issues 2 years ago. Wait two years ago?! Another, and I'm sure not the last momentarily mind blowing realization that a certain amount of time has passed in relation to some said event.
It's going to take some work to bring back some of the lightness into my life.
Silly and funny have always been something that have been a big part of my life.
Sometimes the heavy makes me forgot that I used to be this way a lot more often than I am now.
There was once a point where it was much harder to locate a picture of myself not making some ridiculous face.
My family seems quite down by the change of my demeanor.
Quoting my Aunt, "You used to be funny as hell."
Well I've always been a bit seemingly out of my control selectively awkward, shy, and quiet. But around those very close to me and my family I've often been a center of laughs. Granted my whole family knows how to make jokes and how to laugh.
Of course we all have a pretty serious side to ourselves and some of our jokes can be somewhat dark. There is also a very light side that all of us has carried no matter what we've been through in life. That's what makes my family so enjoyable to be around.
I can't get these Aerosmith lyrics out of my head, "Hey j-j- jaded in all its misery it'll always be what I loved and hated...Wouldn't change it, love me jaded."
I mean this song is talking about being jaded by a relationship. But many other things in life can jade a person. Not just relationships. I'm under the impression that just about anything can jade a person. Now I'm trying to think of some stupid example.
Ok Davea, whatever you say...how about too many trips to a zoo hmmm?? Can that jade a person??
You know what?! I would argue with confidence YES. One can be jaded by too many trips to a zoo.
...So we can all think of the common things that can jade a person. But there may be some less obvious things in a person's life that is jading them. After some introspection these things can be discovered and then something needs to be done about them.
Sickness has opened me up to seeing things that I never used to.
When I was extremely sick I pretty much only interacted with people on my facebook. I mean I had other friends but I rarely hung out with them during the worst point of my illness. I kind of stepped out of the world and I pretty much thought I would never be a normally functioning person again. I felt like I was going to be outside of something. Although just because one is sick they do not NEED to be outside of something. But think about it, it's really hard in a way not to be. Amongst all of the crazy going on in my life I mentally checked out of society. My thought process hasn't changed so much but a certain part of my thought process has deepened and thickened. It feels like I aged 30 years in 2 years.
I can't seem to get back in the game of it all.
All of these little everyday problems can't seem to keep my attention.
My minds always wandering to some bigger issue that I know cannot entirely be fixed. Change is possible, just look at history.
I really believe in this stuff. Just because I am functioning as I am without medicine doesn't mean that I can so easily go back to my old life. I don't think that I'll ever be able to go back to it. But we're always changing anyway, it seems to be that there is never an old life to return to anyways.
People need to be educated on this information. More information needs to be compiled. And more research needs to be done.
There was once a point where it was much harder to locate a picture of myself not making some ridiculous face.
My family seems quite down by the change of my demeanor.
Quoting my Aunt, "You used to be funny as hell."
Well I've always been a bit seemingly out of my control selectively awkward, shy, and quiet. But around those very close to me and my family I've often been a center of laughs. Granted my whole family knows how to make jokes and how to laugh.
Of course we all have a pretty serious side to ourselves and some of our jokes can be somewhat dark. There is also a very light side that all of us has carried no matter what we've been through in life. That's what makes my family so enjoyable to be around.
I can't get these Aerosmith lyrics out of my head, "Hey j-j- jaded in all its misery it'll always be what I loved and hated...Wouldn't change it, love me jaded."
I mean this song is talking about being jaded by a relationship. But many other things in life can jade a person. Not just relationships. I'm under the impression that just about anything can jade a person. Now I'm trying to think of some stupid example.
Ok Davea, whatever you say...how about too many trips to a zoo hmmm?? Can that jade a person??
You know what?! I would argue with confidence YES. One can be jaded by too many trips to a zoo.
...So we can all think of the common things that can jade a person. But there may be some less obvious things in a person's life that is jading them. After some introspection these things can be discovered and then something needs to be done about them.
Sickness has opened me up to seeing things that I never used to.
When I was extremely sick I pretty much only interacted with people on my facebook. I mean I had other friends but I rarely hung out with them during the worst point of my illness. I kind of stepped out of the world and I pretty much thought I would never be a normally functioning person again. I felt like I was going to be outside of something. Although just because one is sick they do not NEED to be outside of something. But think about it, it's really hard in a way not to be. Amongst all of the crazy going on in my life I mentally checked out of society. My thought process hasn't changed so much but a certain part of my thought process has deepened and thickened. It feels like I aged 30 years in 2 years.
I can't seem to get back in the game of it all.
All of these little everyday problems can't seem to keep my attention.
My minds always wandering to some bigger issue that I know cannot entirely be fixed. Change is possible, just look at history.
I really believe in this stuff. Just because I am functioning as I am without medicine doesn't mean that I can so easily go back to my old life. I don't think that I'll ever be able to go back to it. But we're always changing anyway, it seems to be that there is never an old life to return to anyways.
People need to be educated on this information. More information needs to be compiled. And more research needs to be done.
